i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize