Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
