I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
