dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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