Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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