I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do herpes really smell.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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