what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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