The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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