He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
