Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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