I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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