i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
is wine microwaveable?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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