if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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