Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
