nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
