I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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