I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Green mimosas i think yes
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize