Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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