quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Rumble strips road head = magical
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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