you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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