I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize