First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
