If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
