So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
