Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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