someone threw a dead crab at me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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