dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize