Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
