Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
