What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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