Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
