Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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