Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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