There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
