Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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