Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
