Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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