I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize