my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
pray to the hookup gods
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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