Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize