nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We have so much sex to catch up on
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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