Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
