Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
