so explain again why im purple
no
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
