For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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