Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
