so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize