Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
zippers are such a cool invention
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
