doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
