my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
So. Much. Porn.
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