i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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