I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
