I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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