I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
