I swear she didn't look like that last week.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
