I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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