Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
